My hunt for happiness

I don’t know why I was born probably because it was destined and to go logically and in a crude way I was a product of the moment when my parents wanted to give flesh and bone to their love. Emotions undoubtedly developed later but these emotions made me a slave of happiness.
Happiness what it means and how it feels is difficult to be put in words. My definition has changed with each passing day.
One particular day I would be happy because I got a new dress and the other day a glass of mango shake could bring me happiness. In my childhood days I have faint memories that mothers return from office would make me happy. Because I knew she would get something to eat though no one can get the slightest hint looking at me that I can hog on food. Actually at times just eating a sumptuous meal can make me happy.
Thinking deeply I know one thing for sure that it was not just food but the comfort of being in my mother’s arms like any other kid after a daylong separation was a reason enough to bring the smile. But then I don’t understand the same hug irritates me today. I would run into her arms when I was young provided she didn’t call me when I was busy playing with my friends. But today the same tone irritates me. I guess this is how things that get make you happy change.
I don’t know why every single thing that makes you happy one day can irritate you after few days. A new dress, owning which makes me happy but the very next moment its misfit brings in all the gloom. A new job for that matter is a celebration time and a reason to be happy but not even a week passes and I go wild cribbing about the work pressure and the monstrous boss. There is something that is incomplete in every happy moment. And there is something fulfilling in every moment.
A good chat with friends and a simple golgappe can at times be so fulfilling. But the very next moment it can be all vain and gone. I have heard people saying that love brings in happiness I wouldn’t oppose it does and undoubtedly it has whether this love is in any form mother, sister, friends or partner. They all have brought in moments of happiness, yes the word is moment. Why if happiness is such a good thing why can’t it be constant? Why does happiness come in packets? Why everyone wants to be happy? Stupid questions!!! who thinks of them but at times just being stupid also makes you happy. Strange but true!!!
I don’t why but for a matter of fact I know one thing my search for happiness is incomplete without sadness. I think they both co-exist. Like the two tracks of the train that move together but they don’t meet!!! (Okay I know this dialogue is taken from some flop Hindi movie but it’s true! Isn’t it?) But in whole true sense I would have never understood the warmth of the mother’s hug had I not been away from her the whole day. I would have never valued my partner had I not fought with him and had spent moments in loneliness. I would have never been happy with a dress had I not been collecting money for one from my pocket money. A simple evening with friends would not have given me such pleasure had I not spent my evenings in the company of the unwanted work or beings.
My hunt for happiness will continue. The purpose for which is a mystery and a lifetime would be too short to unravel it. But I know that these emotions are to make one happy and happiness is incomplete without sadness. So, enjoy sadness and be happy.