Lessons learnt in small packets

At times there are few questions that no matter how crucial find no place in the world may be because we have no answer to them or maybe we to flatter our ease a bit more we tend to neglect them and prefer not to rattle our brains. But somehow these questions have affected me today and provoked me to write this piece which is nothing more than vague thoughts but it might affect if not all but a few.
Standing and struggling for foot space in an overloaded Haryana roadways bus is never a fun ride but nonetheless it’s the best board to unravel the myths and complexities of life and values. As the canvas the board presents has shades from different pockets of lifestyles. Standing on one corner of the bus struggling hard to protect my feet from constant stamping by people who are either in a hush to take a seat (despite the bus being full!!! May be they feel safe standing in the middle of the bus...) or in a rush to jump out of the bus and at the same time balancing the bag tucked on my shoulder full of heavy notes I was just waiting for someone to get down at every station the bus stopped. Disappointed at my guesses of who would leave the bus where I stood still at one corner back to what I was struggling for. When suddenly, I noticed a little movement on a seat right under my nose and saw an old sardarji picking up his cloth bag. I made my calculations fast and a sudden adrenaline rush told me that yes I had to hurry and take that seat before the guy standing next to it leaps upon it. And whoa the movement sardarji vacated it I grabbed it at a speed which would put spider man to shame. Happily nested in the seat and adjusting my side bag and making some room for my leg I realised that an old lady was also expecting to grab the seat and had just come there a minute later than me. Undoubtedly I was greedy for the seat, but my inner self had the dignity and wisdom to stand up and offer the seat to the old lady and get myself back to struggling position and as to every courteous person’s expectations I did that. Not that this had happened for the first time with me I have been offering seats to old people, mothers protecting a life in their womb and even men with fractured legs...but this time it was something different that somehow rattled my brains and my heart. The lady sat and offered to share the seat with me (an advantage of being petite I believe) but at the same time she expressed her angst at people sitting comfortably and not offering a seat to a 70 year old lady despite her asking for one. Her anger reflected the much boasted about Indian value system. Not that I am challenging it but it forced me to think for sometime what are these Indian value systems that we talk about? Reminds me of what the much critiqued Arundhati Roy said in one of her meetings ‘Indian values are strange people can piss in public but they cannot kiss in public’. Maybe an over exaggerated view but when pondered isn’t it true? Our Indian value system prohibits lot of things in our lifestyle from publicly displaying your love, live in relations, premarital sex to wearing short dresses to arguing with parents everything is obscene and unacceptable. Recently I have seen people trashing their love lives in order to fulfil their parents’ desire who are much concerned about their social status. Most of our decisions are so governed by the society; no wonder man is a social animal. But I find it strange how our happiness is governed by the rules of society. Our decision of good and bad is based on what society would think. And strangely when it comes to actually doing something for society we turn selfish. No one volunteering to offer a seat to an elderly person is a very trivial issue but strongly reflects the hollowness existing in our value system, which is highly pseudo in nature.